Morning/Afternoon, see somethin you like?
person: have you ever ran a marathon
me: yeah
person: which one
me: a movie one
katiegeewhiz:

I REALLY LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS

katiegeewhiz:

I REALLY LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS

reallylameblog:

wretchedoftheearth:

once one of my best friends told me that i was wearing too much makeup (i was wearing lip gloss and mascara) and told me that i should have a look that’s more like my other friend (who wears a full face of makeup every day) as she looks more natural and that moment made me realize that men truly do not understand what makeup looks like

also if a man ever tries to tell you what you should look like again cut his ass off and send it to the moon

Friend: go ask
Me: no you go ask
Friend: no you
Me: fine can i have ketchup
godotal:

omgbuglen:

How to use sand to freak people out

Imagine if some guy was tripping and saw the woman, runs up to help her and she just crumbles apart in his hands. That’s gonna take the trip south.

godotal:

omgbuglen:

How to use sand to freak people out

Imagine if some guy was tripping and saw the woman, runs up to help her and she just crumbles apart in his hands. That’s gonna take the trip south.

rouxx:

“‘Pirates of the Caribbean 5’ sets course for 2017 release”

image

image

ninjabitz:

My sister gave my dad a birthday card and she wrote “you’ve always been like a father to me”

thetrillestqueen:

trebled-negrita-princess:

fish-dinner-connoisseur:

monkeys are better parents than white people

"Get yo lil ass back here and siddown somewhere"

Momma ain’t even have to move or look side ways good to snatch that baby up.

sixpenceee:

ok damn what kind of camera quality do you have because

maverikloki:

cannibalcoalition:

risu-of-anterra:

cannibalcoalition:

"Puns are safe jokes. No one gets hurt by puns."

-tells a pun to a loved one and gets hit because it was terrible-

"I WAS WRONG. I WAS SO HORRIBLY WRONG!"

I guess you could say you were punished.

I don’t know how this could happun. 

I will punch you all.

Gimli, son of Glóin

The Prince of Egypt songs (in order of appearance).

pink-vulva:

once i take my bra off, don’t ask me to do shit for u bitch bc once that bra comes off, i am clocked out of life. i am done. i am finished. i am logged the fuck out.